Stuck in a Rut and Splattering Crud |

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Ruts of the mind are commonplace. They happen to all of us from time to time. We get stuck thinking a certain way about a situation and don’t change or take needed action. We just sit there spinning.

Just as a tire stuck in mud spins and splatters, so do we when we are stuck. We splatter mud all over ourselves and everyone around us. We spew words in frustration and confusion.

When we are stuck, we also have the tendency to grab on to anyone or anything nearby to help pull us out. Most times, this isn’t healthy.

Here are 5 things I use to eliminate mind-ruts:

1. Go FAR away from your house! The farther away from your house you get, the more creative your mind thinks (Andy Traub talks about this in the latest episode of the No More Mondays Show).

2. Don’t just think outside the box, get a whole new box! Or better yet, throw away the box. Start being the 3%!

3. Ask “why” a lot. It is how children find out so many things. So can you. Ask why to yourself. “Why am I doing this?” “Why did I just say that?” “Why am I here?” “Who am I, really?”

4. Write down what your mind is telling you. When you see a self-defeating thought on paper, it almost always looks ridiculous and is therefore easy to dispel. This also brings to light other faulty ways of thinking.

5. Take a 25 hr break from all technology each week. This is something Rabbi Daniel Lapin talks about in Thou Shall Prosper. Your mind will feel alive and new. Can you do it?

Question: What do you do when you hit a rut? Any tips? Leave your response in the comments of the post.

Donna Yates

How do you discern what thoughts are valid and which ones are just lies? Since getting married and even before, my husband (Gary) and I have talked about moving to Beaufort and our desire to do so. We dated for many years and I am coming to realize that the passion to be and live in Beaufort is more mine than his. He would be ok with going or staying. SO, in my desire to support him and his desire to support me, we are both having conflicting thoughts of what to do. My desire to move there is stronger than ever BUT I’ll admit there are times I think it would just be easier to stay put in our “comfortable” existance. I know moving will involve alot of hard work and committment and even fear. We know we both will have to find jobs so that is stressful. Gary is 7 years older than me and I think the thoughts of starting over in a new place scares him more than me. Gary will be supportive no matter what. He’s just that kind of man! I just want to do what is right for both of us and not let fear and lies rule.

I’m going to do the steps above and see where it leads. Thanks Claudia.
- http://rise365.com Claudia Good
  
  You are welcome Donna!
  I hear your frustration! I pray you will both be able to find clarity and make a decision.
  
  It really helped Michael and I to sit down and clarify what our 1, 5 and 10 year goals were. We then filtered decisions through that. Dan Miller has some great recourses in this area… and on decision making for that matter His biggest suggestion would probably be to set a time limit on the process. He says 3 days for smaller matters and 2-3 weeks for bigger decisions. This has really helped us!
  
  Hope this helps!
  
  Blessings as you pursue your best life!
  - Donna Yates
    
    Claudia,
    
    Thanks for the reminder about the 1, 5, and 10 year goal setting. I have read Dan Millers material before but had forgotten that one in particular. I usually do one year goals myself and will get with my husband to see if we can’t put what “we” want going forward.
    
    Thanks,
    Donna
http://www.threedimensionalvitality.com/ Ann Musico

#4 is one of the most effective for me. I am a writer by nature and process things better when I write them and you are absolutely right – seeing certain things on paper really make you “see” them for what they truly are. I did that recently. My dad doesn’t acknowledge anything that is not a traditional job as being worthwhile. Since I quit my one job he asks me consistently he asks what I am doing. The other day at the end of our conversation he said, So what do you do all day? It truly caught me by surprise and took me right back to about 10 years old having to justify myself to him! At my age!! I got my journal out and spend some time writing out what I do all day – and after I saw it all on paper – I knew I didn’t have to respond to that – it’s his issue, not mine. So that’s my favorite way – but I want very much to do #5 – it sounds great to not turn the computer on – at all – for a whole day. I may just do that this weekend!
- http://rise365.com Claudia Good
  
  Ann,
  I’m sorry to hear of your Dad’s confusion as to what qualifies as work. I am glad you have found a way to process and work through the frustrations of the situation! Journaling as you know is an immense help for me as well!
  
  We just did the 25 hr break this past weekend and it was divine! When you have no choice but to talk or nap or read instead of getting on the computer it is so freeing! Let me know how it goes
  - http://www.threedimensionalvitality.com/ Ann Musico
    
    Oh I will! All my kids will be here celebrating their dad’s birthday this weekend so it’s the perfect time and I know it will be easy to ignore the computer when I have their shining faces!
http://www.fatherofone.com/ Michael Wright

Your questions makes me think of William James’ comment that to make a change in one’s life “ 1. Start immediately, 2. Do it flamboyantly, 3. No exceptions.” As our friend Ann say’s “TODAY’s the day!”. No reason to wait until a Monday to start something or wait until you’re motivated. Taking regular walks are great for me to get my thinking going. I use #3 when I get “stinkin thinking” as Zig Ziglar says. I don’t want to pull others down for my own issues!
- http://rise365.com Claudia Good
  
  That’s right Michael! Ann does say that!! haaha!
  
  Oh wow, I agree with William James! Especially the “start immediately” When I wait on something, I loose my focus and excitement and then move on to something else. Love that. Thanks for sharing!
Pingback: Once a Weekly › Issue 7
http://alanamokma.wordpress.com/ Alana Mokma

WOW! I needed to hear #1 and #5. I currently have Mondays and Fridays off. I’ve been spending those days at home working on my business, but I’ve been feeling less motivated. I wonder if part of it is BECAUSE I’m staying at home and not getting out. I’ll test it tomorrow.

#5. – I’ve been wondering lately if my internet access has been a distraction. I’ll take your challenge and make sure I have 25 hours away from technology this week and see how it makes a difference!

(btw – I came over to check out this specific post because Dan Hefferan mentioned it in his Once a Weekly!)
- http://rise365.com Claudia Good
  
  Cool Alana,
  Let me know how it goes!!! They have been really great for us!
  
  Is having Mondays and Fridays off a new thing for you? It is cool you have that time to work on your business. This was a huge adjustment for Michael and I… working from home has been challenging to stay on task and motivated. Hope this helps.
  
  I know, that was so sweet of Dan to include it over on his once a weekly!
  
  Have a great Monday!
- jodyberkey
  
  Hey, Alana. Now that I my daily schedule is more open, I’m going back and catching up on past Rise365 posts that I didn’t read when I was living the “crazy life.” I was wondering how your plan is going for you. Have you gotten away from your house to work on Mondays and Fridays? How is the 25 hour technology break going?
jodyberkey

These are great tips. I just got my library card for our new town yesterday. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get one since we are only temporary residents, but, wouldn’t you know, libraries make it pretty easy to access vast amounts of knowledge… for free

We’ve always had a lot of success with getting away from home to clear our minds. This weekend, we’re going to do some hiking and biking on the VA Creeper Trail that is only 1.5 miles from our front door. What a great blessing! Steve’s been on it a number of times already, but I haven’t had the opportunity yet. I’m really looking forward to it.
- http://rise365.com/ Michael Good
  
  That’s great news about the library. Hey, let us know how the hiking goes!
- http://rise365.com Claudia Good
  
  The VA creeper trail?! Something sounds kind of creepy about that
  
  I know, libraries are the greatest!!! We just went today and got a boatload of stuff… it always amazes me that I can gain so much knowledge for FREE!!!!