The light is a gift; but the local color can only be seen by the one who looks for it long and steadily. ~Henry Van Dyke
Sometimes the road ahead is blocked, at least the sight of it. It is blocked by boulders. They loom, seemingly unmovable and gray. Steel gray.
I think the gray part is the worst of all. Though I love the color on my walls, I don’t like what it represents in my life.
I wear gray often. I dress my child in gray. The color on the side of this blog is gray. I really like it.
But, I loathe gray in my life.
I think guilt is the color gray. As is indecision, pushing off responsibility, lack of courage, failure to change, and depression.
Gray is crap.
Gray says, “I should have. I wish I would have. I am afraid I won’t do it right so I won’t do it at all. I can’t please everyone so I won’t try anything.”
These are all gray and gray will drag you down to the depths.
In fact, gray can’t even make up it’s mind as to whether it is spelled grey or gray. Either one will do.
Gray sits there. It doesn’t stand out like black or white do. It blends in and covers you in an almost imperceptible blanket. And when you are covered, no one sees you. It is a barren, lonely land. You won’t get hurt, but you won’t get love either.
Gray is semi-transparent, not fully see through, but not completely cloudy. It looks like a fish bowl that needs to be cleaned.
What it does do, however, is captivate, capture, dictate, and immobilize. It says things like, “You failed in the past, so you will fail in the future too.” “Who do you think you are, just because he did that doesn’t mean you can!”
Living gray will dry up your motivation and leave you looking as lifeless as the dead sea. (You might want to tweet that!)
I am a former gray-ian. (I just made up that word, but who cares?)
But no longer! Gray has been kicked to the curb along with all of its lies! And, man does it feel great to be alive again!
The crazy thing is that gray is easily dismissed. You can walk through it and it moves, just like mist at dusk. It can even be blown out of the way.
You see, gray is a coward; it only acts brave. But when confronted, gray shrivels up and shrieks like a baby bird.
Action dismisses gray. Reading and learning slay it dead. Change, goals, and making dreams a reality peel it away and leave it rotting on the ground.
I left gray on the roadside a year and a half ago. It is still there looking for a new owner.
Question: Have you ever struggled with gray? How did you defeat it?